Interview with Lynda Stretton: Healing Financial Trauma, Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies, Embracing Breathwork, and Redefining Debt for Business Success

What happens when trauma impacts your financial life? We've invited Kirsty to help unravel this complex relationship and guide us towards a path of healing and prosperity. Through our candid conversation, we confront how trauma affects the nervous system and income generation, while revealing the intricate dance between masculine and feminine energies in money matters. By shifting focus from relentless hustle to embracing a state of receiving, we find that this balance not only prevents burnout but also fosters a more joyful and sustainable approach to business. Breathwork emerges as a powerful tool in trauma healing, enhancing our ability to attract financial success by tapping into fun and magnetism.

Our episode takes a personal turn as we recount a skeptical start with breathwork that led to transformative emotional breakthroughs. This journey opened doors to joining a mastermind group, reshaping our perspective on debt as a strategic tool for growth. We celebrate record-breaking business milestones and the enriching relationships formed with clients, likened to friendships. Reflecting on the financial beliefs instilled from childhood, we navigate the challenges of stepping out of comfort zones, such as the first use of a credit card for business investment. Through personal stories and client experiences, we emphasize the significance of aligning financial beliefs with growth objectives, crafting a narrative of financial empowerment and success.

Chapters

• 0:00 Trauma's Impact on Income and Mother
• 13:00 Journey to Financial Growth and Support
• 16:28 Financial Beliefs and Debt Perspective

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome, gorgeous humans. In today's live, we are going to be talking about how trauma and the nervous system impact our income and how we actually make money, and we're also going to be speaking about the mother wound and how the mother wound shows up in many different ways. And we're going to be doing this with my beautiful Ascension Mastermind client, kirsty, who I can't yet see, so I can't let her in. I think she'll turn up soon. Welcome everyone that's joining. So we are talking about how our nervous system and trauma impact how much money we make and how we make money and how doing trauma healing work, specifically through using the power of the breath breath work helps us to clear what's stored and holding us back. Amy's joined. We're waiting for Kirsty. She's supposed to be coming on doing a live with me. She's not here yet. I've just chatted to her so I know that she's around, and so, whilst we wait for Kirsty, let's talk about a few things that you may recognise in yourself. So there's different ways we can make money right, and a lot of us will be familiar with making money through doing the most, through working hard, and a lot of us have that belief of the harder I work, the more money I make. Yes, it's exciting, the you know if I need to do more, if you're not seeing evidence, like particularly business owners out there, it's like I'm not seeing the results that I want, so what else can I go and do? And I was having this conversation today inside of my business mastermind, actually Ascension, and I was saying to them what if it wasn't about how much you did, but in how embodied you are in the evidence of you as the embodiment of the transformation you get people? If people see that this is what is available for them, right, you become more magnetic. Hey, jasmine, and also, um, the other thing I was speaking about is sometimes, when we are in that doing, when we need to do more, we're not in the state of receiving. So again, some often people are like, oh, what do I need to do to make more money? And they go off. It's like, well, I need to go another ride like post, I need to do another email, I need to go and do like another free event. I need to do, do, do, do, do. When actually it's like, how can you get yourself in receiving? Because the different energies, right, that energy of that giving, giving and doing, is a masculine energy and receiving is the feminine, and this isn't gendered, by the way, this is just energetic. So we all have masculine, feminine in us, but we need to be in this state of receiving.

Speaker 1: 2:56

And so one of my clients yesterday dropped a new offer, low cost, like no brainer offer to her audience. She had 51 people join in, jump in. And we did this training in the mastermind on Tuesday, which is all about making selling fun right, like when you're in this, that energy of like I'm sorry I've gone off one already, but when you're in this energy of like fun and joy and excitement, all these different things, right, it's you become magnetic to other people. So we had this training and then my client had these 51 sales in a day and I was like this is this couldn't have been a better example because, a she dropped this no-brainer offer. That was like really exciting and really fun. And then, b she's actually on holiday. So she's on holiday just like receiving, like sunshine. We were actually supposed to have like a one-to-one yesterday and I wasn't very well and I messaged her and I was like, look, we can do this call, but I'd rather you got more out of it. So you happy to reschedule to a different time. She was like, yeah, more time in the sun, it's great. So she was like in full receivership, right. And then all this stuff came in, so very exciting. Um, we're still not seeing Kirsty.

Speaker 1: 4:01

So I don't know how long to speak for. I don't know how much to talk because I know we're not talking about the subject I said because I've just gone off on business coaching, just typical Linda. So let's talk about so I'll keep going right, let's talk about some nervous system things, right. So a lot of people are in this doing thing and a lot of people have been conditioned from childhood to be in more of this, always on more of this fight, fight mode, right. This like this hustle, this force, this doing right. And then what will happen is you'll create a lot of success from that fight, from that always on, from that never switching off from that like completely hustling. And then what will happen is your body will burn out and once you've burned out, your body will have a memory of when I was doing X, I burnt myself out, and this can take decades, right, this can take decades to burn out, and it's why I, like I watch, I'm 43. So, if anyone doesn't know, I'm 43.

Speaker 1: 4:58

So I look on at all like the people in their late 20s and early 30s, like running coaching businesses and stuff, and they're like they're doing the most and they're on every single social media channel and they're running free events every single month and they're dropping different programs every month. They're doing all these different things. I look at them and I go just you wait, just you wait until you're in your late 30s, when it's become too much, when you're trying to have kids and you realize you're infertile, when you're just like you're waking up with night sweats. This is what happened to me in corporate right, so 34.

Speaker 1: 5:29

If I'd gone to the doctor, like on paper everyone would have said I was, I was going through early menopause. I was having horrific night sweats where I was like like absolutely drenched and having to get changed like multiple times a night. Right, I was, um, I had this hormonal acne which I'd never even had, like, even going through puberty never had acne. I lost my menstrual cycle. Um, I, there was so much migraines, shooting pains behind my eyes, right, all these different symptoms, right. And if I'd gone to the doctors which I actually didn't um, I would have been diagnosed with early menopause.

Speaker 1: 6:02

I've had this with clients in like my health business, right, I've had clients come to me being diagnosed with early menopause. They haven't had their adrenals looked at, they haven't had the adrenal health. And then we've gone and looked at them. They've actually got adrenal fatigue, they're actually not creating cortisol anymore. So then they're just like in this depleted state, right. So when you're in that chronic state, when you come to this burnout state, right? So when you're in that chronic state, when you come to this burnout state, like the last thing the body's worried about is reproduction, because, like, it's just focusing all of its resources on keeping you alive, because growing a baby and I'm speaking more to women now, but this is relevant for men as well Growing a baby is so energy intensive so the body literally steals from the mother to create the baby when it doesn't have the resources it needs. So if you go into pregnancy depleted who knew the conversation was going to get here? Clearly, someone needed to hear this today If you go into pregnancy depleted, what happens is we literally it takes like you know, like baby brain they talk about.

Speaker 1: 6:59

Like you literally have DHA, which is like one of the omega-3 fats. You have EPA and DHA. But DHA is really rich in the brain, like the body literally steals DHA from your brain to give to the baby because the baby needs it for development, right? It literally takes out minerals from your teeth and your bones to give to the baby. So it's like go another one, right?

Speaker 1: 7:24

So what happens is like if we're in this state where we go, go, go, go, go, then we completely burn ourselves out and then we end up in this. The body then remembers it's like oh my God, I can't go there again, and then we go into freeze state. So this is when you end up like really dissociated. You're numb, you are like disconnected from the world. You feel like you're procrastinating, you feel like you've got no motivation. But it's actually the nervous system like I don't want to let you go there again. It's like trying to keep you safe, right, and so it like pulls you back in a way and shuts you down.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Here she is. I've just been speaking for since three minutes, last 10 minutes. Don't know where we've been. You won't believe everything that happens, okay? So anyway, then we might go into a freeze state. I'll let you on, okay? So I'll just finish this sentence and and then we, and then we can't do anything. And then we've created this belief right the more I do, the more money I make. You're in this freeze zone. It's like, oh, I can't make money because I'm frozen, instead of actually expanding the nervous system to be in a state of receiving even when we're not doing. Anyway, it's a whole conversation for another day. I will be back to talk about it, but for now, let's bring up my gorgeous let me have a drink of water my gorgeous Kirstie. So before I bring her up, keep watching Kirsty, before I bring her up.

Speaker 1: 8:48

I met Kirsty in June I think it was. Maybe it's July, I feel like it was June, and it was June. I met Kirsty, I think who knows, and I was at an event and I did a breath work and, um, it was very emotional and she had a little tear and we went, had a little cuddle. I was like, okay, we had a little cuddle and then she jumped into my in the spotlight mini mind. So in the spotlight it's all about personal power and confidence and taking up space and using your voice and like really stepping into your power. Right, but through that nervous system work, through a lot of breath work we did and loads of fun stuff. It was an incredible mini mind.

Speaker 1: 9:26

And then she jumped into my mastermind ascension business mastermind, and that decision to join that mastermind was massive for her because it felt like a massive stretch for her nervous system, amongst other things. Um, and she had to dig deep to make that move. I'm not gonna I'm gonna allow her to tell if she wants to say any more than that, but she'd um, within hours of our second one-to-one call together, she had had her first 10k month, which ended up being even higher. It was like the fourth of the month she was on 10k month or something and she's absolutely flying now and her work is so important. So she's also going to talk to everyone about her work. So let's bring her on the stage. Hopefully this works. Let's see, accept, hello, I've accepted I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2: 10:32

I was like waiting for you to pop up and you didn't pop up and I was like, oh my god, where's linda?

Speaker 1: 10:36

oh my god, instagram doesn't like how close we are. It's trying to break us, I know, um, it was really funny because I just literally rambled for 10 minutes and I kept in my head as I was talking. I'm like, shall I end this and start again? Because, like, do people want to watch this introduction before they come into it? But there's good stuff that channeled through. There was really good stuff. See, now Janine's just popped up, so I wonder if it's just told her. Um, welcome everybody. So please go back and watch that. I channeled the most ridiculous stuff. We talked about everything on that 10 minutes when I was all on my own, um, but it was. It was really.

Speaker 1: 11:14

People were dropping out, people were coming on, though, so it was like it's just, you weren't yeah, you didn't come up for me how instagram, um, it's punishing me for not having posted since last monday, anyway, because everything's perfect. So this is gorgeous, kirsty. Um, did you manage? Did? Were you? Did you hear what I was saying about, like our little hug and everything?

Speaker 2: 11:33

yeah, I love that you like I had a little tear. I did not have a little tear, linda, I had an emotional breakdown.

Speaker 1: 11:38

I completely had a emotional breakdown in the middle of this event and you were like they're there, message me later yeah, and we got, and the video got it on camera, so like we've got our cuddle like forever etched in form, and so I was just singing your praises so as I was sort of saying, so what we're going to do, we're going to have a little bit of a chat about, um, kirsty's experience with investing in herself and and this work that I've helped her with in like quantum leaping and she's helped herself with right, this is not all about me, that that's quantum leaping, but then we're gonna dive into the work that she actually does, because the work that she does is so insane. Um, I've worked with kirsty. So what I love about the industry and particularly when I say the industry like heart-led business, female business owners is, I always say, like there's no hierarchy, right, everyone just gets to hire each other for different things. So, um, I've worked with Kirsty a couple of times and will work with Kirsty in the future, and Kirsty has this incredible gift that I can't wait to share with you, because something that we've worked on with Kirsty in the future and Kirsty has this incredible gift that I can't wait to share with you because something that we've worked on with Kirsty is like people struggle with as business owners.

Speaker 1: 12:49

It's like what's my unique genius? Like what's my unique genius? What's my unique genius? Right, and I have this like one of my unique geniuses is in five minutes I can tell you what you should be focusing on. I just need to have a five minute conversation with you. I'm like that's the thing. Like that's the thing, not everyone listens to me. And then I should listen to me. But Kirsty listened to me and ran with it and I'm going to tell you about that in a minute. But firstly, let's talk about. Let's talk. You take over. What have we done together?

Speaker 2: 13:19

you take, you say, your side of the story okay, so I attended this event, uh, back in June, like I think.

Speaker 2: 13:25

I think it was June or July but, yeah, it was June and, um, I've never done breathwork before and like, if I'm honest, I was like, oh, I don't know, breathwork isn't really my thing, like it's not, it's not for me, it's not, it's not my thing. And then we did the breathwork together and I literally, like at the end of the breathwork, had to go to the bathroom and like sort myself out because I was just sobbing, like complete sobbing, and I was like what has this woman done to me? And I feel like you just cracked open like this part of me that was like oh, there's some healing stuff that needs to happen for you to be able to become this main character, which the energy was called the energy, the event was called main character, energy, right, so I was like, okay, cool, um, need to do this. So I messaged you back and forth and before I even like got on the train home from London, I was already in in the spotlight and I was like, cool, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try this. And then I saw like how many calls there were and then we started to go through like this rebirthing process and doing like all that conscious, connected breath work and all the other stuff as well, that just kind of came up and I was like it should hit in like time after time after time, and I was like, wow, like because obviously I've got this on the early bird pricing as well, right, so I was like in a complete bargain.

Speaker 2: 14:37

And then, as soon as you dropped like block on the ground, I was like, well, yeah, I'm gonna do that as well. And then you brought around this mastermind and I was like my heart was like you need, you need to do it. But like, looking at my finances, like you know, I'd already had a little bit of debt and I was like, oh, I need to kind of potentially take out more debt in order to be a part of the mastermind. And you know that's part of the investment, right, and it's part of your money mindset. Is that? Do you kind of dwell on the fact that you have debt or do you use debt as a tool to get to where you need to be? Like you said, like I made my investment back, like it ended up being like a 13k month, which is the highest amount of money I've ever had in a month in my business, and I was like holy shit.

Speaker 2: 15:18

And then everything that I had learned. I actually supported another client with and after her second session with me, she made back her investment. So, not only did like I, not only did the wealth come back to me, but I supported clients to have the wealth come back to them as well, which, yeah, it's like spreading that wealth and putting the money in hands of, like, good women to do good things. I'm like that's what all about and I absolutely love it. So, yeah, I kind of feel like that's our journey and then, you know, we just kind of realized that we were like soulmates and then just obsessed with Taylor Swift and all this other stuff in the meantime it's so funny.

Speaker 1: 15:52

One of my one-to-one clients messaged me yesterday like she's in one-to-one in the mastermind and everything. She's like 12 months in the mastermind like you and she's just like I feel like you're my best friend and I'm like that's like the relationship I have with my clients. It's like, if it's not best friend vibes, like I remember one of my mentors that said your client should be your best friends. I'm like, well, mine are. Yeah, like I just want to know everything about your life and everything I want to celebrate, like when you get your boyfriend really excited. But yeah, you made a really good point about that releasing it, because I'm actually somebody who has never I haven't been raised with debt. Right, you can't afford it, you don't get it. And it was very like you know, and I had all those stories growing up like very frugal kind of, in a way of like when you don't grow on trees.

Speaker 1: 16:38

You know, like I always say to my kids now, like when me and daddy daddy were little, you only got presents on birthdays and Christmases, but like you literally get presents every week so it's like the other day and I was like right, we're not doing more presents or Christmas now, because like it takes away that special thing and like do you remember you used to get like one pair of shoes for the year and stuff like that?

Speaker 1: 16:55

Like just all that, it's just, it feels like such a con. It's a different world, full stop, I think, and consumerism and and debt in itself. But yeah, we, we weren't raised to like get ourselves in debt. It was like you can't afford it, you don't have it, and then you work really hard to make some money so you can have the thing that you want, right? Yeah, the only debt I um was comfortable with is property, because that was ingrained in me. You always make your money back on property. It always increases in price, right. So we grow up with these beliefs like which is like everyone's gonna have these different beliefs, right? So, guys, if you're watching, you might not resonate with these same beliefs, but like these were my beliefs and I had, I've had similar situations where it's been like I've, I've wanted to take myself straight, my business, that next level, and I remember the first time I actually had to get a credit card pay for something and it was like a massive deal and I

Speaker 1: 17:49

actually had a conversation with one of my friends who lives in the US where, like, they're all about the debt they've just got. They've got so much debt like the college fees, university fees. They're so wild out there. I'm just like, yeah, it's like, yeah, I got like 200 grand of debt. Like it's nothing. I'm like what? I just won't put five, five grand on the credit card. Like what are you talking about? But yeah, it was like a massive deal for me.

Speaker 1: 18:10

My nervous system was not comfortable with it. Yeah, like investing in property, then you know it'd be fine. But yeah, so, um, yeah, so, anyway, let's, let's just say that's that is. That is a trauma thing, right, is that? It's our relationship with money? There's so much tied into the nervous system, how we show up and how we work, and something I was just saying to everyone before you came like a big part of a big part of like, oh sorry, that was it. The flow of the money, right, yes, it's, and it's an energy, right, so money's an energy and it wants it, doesn't want you to cling tight, and that's like. I used to be a clinger. Yeah, I always had to be like in my corporate days had to be 20 grand in the in the bank. Like 20 grand in the bank was my safe thing, like couldn't let it go, believe that right. And then it's like and it was like you, you save, save, save for a rainy day.

Speaker 1: 18:56

That was the other story yeah, rip off, pay for a rainy day, you never know what's coming. Like, hang on to it. And since launching my own business, like I've become so fluid with money and had this relationship where, like you say, you release it and it comes back, you release it and it comes back. And then you release it and more comes back. And you release it, more comes back and it all starts to build. But it's like it's my belief that money is an energy and it wants to flow.

Speaker 1: 19:21

Yeah, and something about having money is, again, I was raised in a family where it was like, um, well, like my dad would, one of my dad's saying was the more you spend, the more you save. So something was on half price. You got as many of them as you could because the more you spend, the more you save, right, but it was like getting the value tins and all that stuff, right, what's the cheapest baked beans you could get? What was all this? And one of my favorite things is like the local stores, the local like grocery places, the local coffee shop who, like you, pay a premium for because they don't have that buying power that, like you know, the big brands have.

Speaker 1: 19:59

I won't say any names the big brands have. But it's like it's so nice to be able to give back to those people that have got these passion projects, that want to bring this like local produce, produce to you which is going to be more expensive, and it's just. It's all that stuff I was thinking about on the weekend about just how much I love to support local businesses and again, it's like the heartless people having the money right. It's like we actually want to do good and and be able to give back.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Yeah, that's so, oh sorry, one of the big things about me is that, like where I live at the moment doesn't have many independent coffee shops and it drives me mad.

Speaker 2: 20:32

I'm like I wasn't independent. And going back to what you say about money is like flow, money is feminine. So you know, the more you constrict and you hold onto it, you block that flow. So you have to treat the money like the feminine. You have to trust in the ebbs and the flows as well, right, because money is going to go out. You have to trust it's going to come back in.

Speaker 2: 20:52

And you know, I'm still flexing that muscle, I'm still building that muscle, that trusting it's always coming. And one of the biggest lessons I learned from you is just like, yeah, sometimes money can just come in seasons and like I'm not, I'm a human, I'm not designed to be on 100% of the time. And that actually took so much pressure off, because I think we always see like, oh, get your consistent 10K months and all of this stuff online, but actually what we want is a consistent abundance flow where some months we make 30K, sometimes we make 10K, sometimes you might make 5K and that's fine because you trust that the next month is bringing you in the flow.

Speaker 1: 21:30

Yeah, yeah. So I was talking to the mastermind about this, wasn't I? And I was saying that the last mastermind I joined, like when it was like what's your intention? And I'm just like saying that I wanted to like have consistent payments, like my goal was this. And now, and like within a couple months, I'm like why, why do I want? Why do I want that? Like I've just, I've come to like realize that actually I don't want to be like on all the time, like I don't want to be able to go backwards and like take a little break and have like on and off seasons and like as women, obviously we are cyclical, as nature, it is seasonal, but I mean, added to that, I mean I'm a, I'm a two-line projector, right, so I need to have my permit stages as well. So, yeah, I mean it's like being able to like ride those waves instead of also constantly like chasing.

Speaker 1: 22:19

Listening to podcasts the other day about like just so many millionaire millionaires are depressed and it's because they don't have like fulfillment. Like they, they're never satisfied with what they have. It's always chasing the next and I think a lot of people like lose that gratitude for like even just like you know one person's like my post. It's like, yeah, one person likes it, like they resonated with that. That's amazing, like, and people just sort of lose that, and it's just like actually chasing the money isn't going to bring the happiness. It's what the money provides, right, it's the experiences, the meals out, the clothes, like, whatever it is that you're really into. And, um, being this constant state of worry around money, um, that's not nice. Like we want to have money, right, but then this constant state of money when we're in massive overflow like just doesn't make sense, and sometimes people just need to like wake up and smell the roses like, yeah, you're fucking abundant as fuck.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Um didn't mean to swear, okay. Something else came into the head now and I can't think what it was right so I'm gonna.

Speaker 1: 23:18

Let's move on from money because, um, I want to talk about you. I want to talk about you. So you are now a wealthy woman who's making loads of money with your gifts, which is beautiful, and so, coming back to what I said about like seeing your gifts, so I'll let you introduce yourself in a minute for what you actually do. But I've had this experience I can't remember if it was before I actually worked with you or whether you were just telling everybody. It was when you were telling everybody in a group call, I think it was, wasn't it? But she was like Kirstie was like talking to us about what she does and she was like and I see, I see like little babies in people's hearts. She was like I actually visualize you as a baby in your heart and we were like talking about inner child healing and it was just like. Like this was wild to me and I'm like no one has ever told me that they do that before. I was like this is one of your gifts anyway.

Speaker 1: 24:15

Then I hired her and she did this, um, like this energy healing thing on me and I actually this is my second one, wasn't it? And she's channeling to me, right? So she's channeling to me. She was like. She was like oh, I'm like your granddad's here. And I'm like no surprises, because my granddad is one of my guys. He comes through in breath work for me, like I know he's one of my guys. But then she's like yeah, he's got a flat cap and a pipe. Yeah, yeah, if you can smell smoke, it's, it's your granddad. And I'm like.

Speaker 1: 24:44

I was like you can't write this stuff right. She also described me, um, in a picture with my granddad, by the way, that she's never seen. She doesn't know what I look like when I was a kid, but she literally described me and there's like a photo of me with this pram and next to my granddad, which is my favorite photo ever. But and she was like, yeah, if you can smell smoke, I was like you're not gonna believe this. I was like my husband keeps walking in the room and saying he can smell smoke and I can't. And I'm like, I'm like, but that's like that must be my granddad. But I'm so like, not like so used to it being there that I don't smell it anymore, but like sometimes I will smell it, but like, not always. And I'm literally I cannot smell this smoke. And I'm like, but yeah, he smoked a pipe. And I was like, oh my god, he's literally there. Yeah, he's over. You can't write this stuff right, so let's tell everyone what the hell do what do you do um?

Speaker 2: 25:37

I'm a child healer, unquote. So a lot of the work that I do is is um heart-centered, so we work around the heart a lot, um, and yeah, I guess um, things have changed a lot in the last couple of weeks well, last couple of months in terms of where I've been going with this and, yeah, it's just leaning into that more ancestral work, understanding like ancestral trauma, how it's passed down through like our DNA, through our spiritual roots, all of that type of stuff, and then our inner child healing.

Speaker 2: 26:03

So, like you highlighted, one of my gifts is to see like younger versions of people.

Speaker 1: 26:08

So when.

Speaker 2: 26:08

I'm doing any energy work with them, I'm able to tap into the heart chakra and I'm able to see younger versions of people. So if that's well, obviously it's all you as a baby. I've seen people at various different ages and usually they present and they come with a reason. So maybe that time was significant. Maybe that child is feeling what you're feeling now and it's mirroring and we need to heal that version of you, to help support you in the, in the challenges you're facing now.

Speaker 2: 26:34

So it comes for a reason and then, yeah, we work with that version of you, because healing is not time or distance bound and it is a bit of a way out there concept. But if you can connect to spirit people who have like passed over, if you can connect to your spirit guides, if you can regress to past lives, you can obviously connect to previous versions of yourself. Because when we think about how shamanism works, it's basically like as you go through life and you experience trauma, you leave a little bit of your soul behind. And I love that concept of like going back and just picking up all these little pieces of people's souls and reuniting them so that they do feel whole and they do feel healed and yeah, that's kind of what I'm here to do.

Speaker 1: 27:12

I feel like that's my purpose here on earth yeah, and I was talking about this in the introduction, I was going to come back to it and I didn't. So I'm really glad this just came up because I was going to say to everyone like a lot of people like kind of switch off when they hear the word trauma, because it's just like, oh, this doesn't affect me because I've not been in a big car accident or, you know, I haven't been to war or I haven't, you know, had a like lost a child or whatever. It is right. It's like these big traumas. But actually trauma is like they all come in all different shapes and sizes, right, and it can be as simple as the one, I always use because I think so many people can resonate with.

Speaker 1: 27:46

It is like reading out in class and like saying the word wrong and then everyone laughing and you just kind of like contracting but not having anyone to co-regulate with you, like the teacher not actually being there to co-regulate. It's okay. It's just like everyone's just laughing at you. And then you go out break time and like everyone's like continuing to pick on you because you said this, like word wrong or whatever it is right and there's all these different things. And then it can be stuff like I know we're going to talk about the mother like in a minute, so you'll get way more but like so many things from childhood when, like, our emotions just weren't acknowledged or we weren't like held through situations or, um, you know, our parents weren't, um, emotionally available for us because they were just so stretched, they were so busy, like they didn't have the support teams around them. You know, like I look at me growing up and I've just got so much respect for my mum these days, like at the time, like my dad was like the workaholic, he was never around and she was full responsibility for looking after us and you know meals and all different things and me and my brother would argue and scream and shout. I just got like, how did you cope?

Speaker 1: 28:48

Nervous system work was not a thing back then and obviously one of her ways of like dealing with us was to send us to our rooms to like keep us as quiet as possible. To like don't be a cry baby. Like, be quiet. You're being like like sort of dismissing all of our feelings and emotions and stuff. So then you start to feel like you're wrong. It's like, well, I feel like this way, but I must be wrong, because, like, I shouldn't feel this, because mum thinks I'm being ridiculous and I'm being a cry baby. And to feel like you're wrong. It's like, well, I feel like this way, but I must be wrong, because, like I shouldn't feel like this, because mum thinks I'm being ridiculous and I'm being a crybaby.

Speaker 1: 29:12

And then suddenly, like you grow up with someone who's like you know, can't ask for help and, like you know, doesn't like their emotions, all these different things. Right, I've just got awful, mum. But, yeah, go back to when you're a baby, and anyone watching this has done this. Please don't hold any guilt or shame, um, because this is very common and we're told to do it, but leaving the baby to cry out, right, and so we're told to let the baby cry out and then they'll learn not to cry out because we don't come.

Speaker 1: 29:39

But actually what the baby's learning at that age is when I cry, no one comes and that's like a trauma, right, because you literally got a scared baby on its own in the dark in this room, um, it cries and no one comes, and it's like got no one to co-regulate with. As humans, we have to co-regulate. In particular, babies stroke children, so we actually need that hug and that connection and then that's just. That's just stuck inside us, right? So this is I mean, there's so many different versions but, um, a lot of the work that you do is around the wounds, with the mother, with the father, obviously, ancestral different things, but let's talk specifically about the money.

Speaker 1: 30:10

A lot of the work that you do is around the wounds with the mother, with the father, obviously ancestral or different things, but let's talk specifically about the money, the mother wound, because I know that you've got a mini mind coming up. Yeah, with the mother yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:20

So just like to touch on trauma, like working with uh, working in the criminal justice system for the last 12 years. What it kind of taught me is that like it's not what's wrong with you, it's what's happened to you, and that's like a really common phrase used with trauma, informed approaches and with trauma, like you said, everyone thinks it's that big, significant incident, but it can just be those small, minor incidents that don't seem like a big deal, but they are at the time because your brain becomes overwhelmed and unable to cope, so that can happen with your mother. When we think about our mothers, they like we carry such a stigma as women to be able to time because your brain becomes overwhelmed and unable to cope, so that can happen with your mother. When we think about our mothers, they like we carry such a stigma as women to be able to do everything and provide 100 to our children at all times and to meet all of their needs, which is an impossible task. Yeah, okay, you know, when we lived in tribes we would obviously live with other women, other you know, other men who would role, model and take care of, like, the child rearing. For us as well, it'd be a collective thing. So when we're expecting our mothers to meet 100% of our needs, it's an unrealistic expectation. So when I look at the mother wound, all of our beliefs are formed between the ages of zero and eight. That's when our subconscious mind is being formed. So our relationship with our mother directly impacts how we grow up as adults. It absolutely does. So does the father, but father relationships are very different towards mothers.

Speaker 2: 31:37

I feel like mothers definitely have that pressure to be that person that is the be all and end all for us. So I often get a lot of people who come to me and it's like I have a horrible relationship with my mum. It's really, really strange, I don't know. Like when I get off the phone I'm super triggered by her like, and she ruins my freaking day I had, or like every time I see her I walk away and my chest feels really heavy or I have like the pain in my tummy, or I feel really anxious about seeing her. Sometimes I never know what she's going to say or how she's going to talk to me. Is she going to criticize me? Is she going to criticize my home, my house, how I look, like all of this stuff and this is all coming back from your childhood.

Speaker 2: 32:15

So this is why we go back and we heal the wounds. And what do we do with that? Some of it is talking, some of this energy work, some of it can be regression work. You know, my mini mind is a blend of all of these, of teaching regressions, live healing, meditations, all of this stuff which is all taught live so people can have access to me as much as they want during these sessions. So, because I'm really passionate about people healing this and like realizing that, even if your relationship with your mother is good now, you still have those experiences where you were younger and they are definitely affecting you now. And I love like people will go around and be like, oh, but I need more confidence, I need to do my self-esteem and I need to work on my boundaries. I need to do all this stuff and it's like, well, if you actually go back to the root of the problem, you heal all of these things at once.

Speaker 1: 33:01

It's like smart healing, yeah that, um, that that same sex, like parent, child, um thing, the, the wounds can be very shadowy, um. So like mum, daughter and and man, certain, father certain, because the mum often like projects a lot of her insecurities onto the daughter, so like, where she felt like she wasn't enough, then makes the daughter feel like she's not enough for those things as well. So like, for example, with mine. You know, my mum was obsessed with her weight and being skinny and all that kind of stuff, and then obviously that then developed for me into an eating disorder, becoming anorexic, because it's just, it's getting this like forced on me this belief that I need to be skinny and if I'm not, then I'm not, and all of that I mean. That's just like one example, right, and so this there can be a lot of this kind of like shadowy stuff beautiful Laura's here and that comes up in that relationship and people just don't realize.

Speaker 1: 33:56

Like I, when I first started my personal development journey, like the father, the father, um, I don't want to even say the father wound, but like the, the father, the wound, we'll just go with. That word was like so obvious to me that it's like oh yeah, it's like on paper, it's like, oh, yeah, of course, like I never got his attention so I became that workaholic. He was the workaholic like only getting his praise when I did well at school, like all that. It's like obvious, right, it's like tick, tick, tick. Yeah, that makes sense. But it was like a couple of years into this work, before I even realized, I was like, oh, my god, I didn't realize that, like my relationship, my mum was like he's like being so, and the fact that I remember an astrologer saying to me um, and this is based for anyone who's interested, it's based on your moon sign because, like they talk about the sun being representative your father and the moon being representative your mother and my, my moon is in Aquarius, in the sixth house um, but she'd said that, um, she was like your mum was physically around but not emotionally available, and I was like, oh, I was like light bulb because, like my, oh god, I hope my mum doesn't watch this but it's like for me, like I didn't even tell my mum when I set my periods.

Speaker 1: 35:07

I remember when I asked for a bra, like I never forget it, and I'd like been wanting, wanting to ask for ages, and I was not one of the first, kids developing. Right, I was quite late developer and I was just like feeling like I need to wear a bra but like I don't ask, because I always felt if I asked for something.

Speaker 2: 35:22

I was some kind of burden.

Speaker 1: 35:24

Like again, like partly because the whole money thing, because it was always like we can't afford it, can't afford, it, can't afford it. So it's like I've got that money and they're not gonna be able to afford it. But also it was just like, yeah, it was just like I was such a um, I was such in that phone response as a kid. It was just constantly pleasing, appeasing everybody else, like be the hard-working girl that stays quiet, is in her room, doesn't get in the way, doesn't cause any trouble. It was just like that. It's like gotta ask for a bra. And I remember like her response was storming off, not saying anything, just stormed off to either side of the shop and I was with my brother as well and I was like really embarrassed about the whole situation. She literally just grabbed something random, didn't even get me fitted, and stormed up to till and bought it. It was just like the whole experience was just like it wasn't safe to ask for, like to have my needs met. So then when I started my period, I was like gonna go and deal with this myself because I'm gonna talk to mum, right, but like I just never had to like realize these things and how like I was so like shut off and secretive and all that kind of stuff until, yeah, until like long, like a couple of years into my healing, and I was like, oh, and it was that wake-up moment with the astrologer and I was like that's true, like my dad wasn't around and he wasn't around and that was almost easier to deal with than like having someone around and feeling like not accepted totally that you couldn't go to them.

Speaker 1: 36:38

And I always have a memory as well which is a wild memory, um, and I reckon I was about four being ill and I remember coming down and being sick and like sitting with my mum and like cuddling her and she always had the cat there, so the cat was there, like trying to cuddle her and just feeling so awkward because we never cuddled. Yeah, so memory from being like four years old, I'm like not being able to cuddle my mum and just go, this is awkward, like I yeah, it's really weird, I'm obviously I'm like the biggest hugger now, like my kids, like I'm so cuddly but yeah, so all of these little things, just like. I don't know if I've gone off. I've taken the floor.

Speaker 2: 37:13

Let's pass this back to you and, um, yeah, I think, like, what really strikes me as well is like, when you're having to do that, you're becoming hyper independent. You're the person never going to ask for help. You're the one who's going to be the perfectionist everything is never going to be enough. You're the one who is going to be, like you know, the maximizer, always looking for the best thing as well, because you're like I really need, um, yeah, you're going to be that person who is constantly seeking, like, approval from others because you didn't get it at home. Like it just becomes this multi-layered, multi-faceted thing which becomes your identity, also in terms of, like, hiding your menstruation, hiding that sort of stuff. Is you almost like rejecting femininity a bit as well and rejecting that? Your womb menstruation is embarrassing, menstruation is shameful, right?

Speaker 2: 38:01

so you end up with all these like compounded layers of things where you're like I really want to address these things and then obviously, like you found breath work, you start to do the inner child work, you started to expand and then, like you said, everyone always goes, oh, daddy issues, and literally we see it as a joke all the time. Oh, I've got daddy, yeah, explode. But I'm like, okay, you've got mummy issues too. Mummy issues, okay, talk about it. It's okay.

Speaker 2: 38:25

And I think like, sometimes as well, especially if people are mothers, if they admit that maybe their mother's parenting wasn't great and they see themselves in that they hard to, it's hard to identify because you're identifying, maybe I'm not the perfect mother that society has told me to be which so many other questions. But you know, I've worked both sides of the coin. I've worked with mothers who want to heal the relationship with their daughters and daughters who want to heal the relationship with their mothers, and having that open and honest communication just brings you to a much more deeply connected place. And sometimes that's not always possible and like, closure of that conversation is something I talk about a lot, because you should be able to gain closure of the emotions that you felt as a child without conversation. That's how I work, so you don't have to have that awkward and difficult conversation with your mum, where your relationship is already a bit rickety and you're like oh, if I say this, we're not gonna have a relationship at all. Yeah, it's not that. It's not about putting you through the stress and anxiety of that. It's about how you can find peace right, because you know, when you know when a snake bites us, we don't go oh, you, you snake, why did you bite me?

Speaker 2: 39:31

If we don't, we work on getting the poison out right. And when we're holding on to like the anger and anxiety and all those resented emotions towards our mother, what we're doing is we're just hanging on to that poison for no reason and the only person who's hurting is us. And when we start to heal that, we also like heal our moms, we heal our relationships, we heal our family, we heal our children or anybody that we influence going forward. If you choose to have children or not, it's so influential, like, and sometimes people don't realize the relationship is unhealthy until they're told. And this is why I do like a lot of problem awareness stuff on my Instagram, because I'm like I want people to realize, like what a healthy relationship is, or like the way that you're functioning now may not always be healthy yeah, I love that you said about that, like, yeah, because that not having to go and have the conversations and stuff, because this, um, one way to recognize if something is impacting you is you're getting triggered by something right.

Speaker 1: 40:28

And when you heal the wound, when you heal that wound, even if your mum does the thing that is like would usually trigger you, it's not going to trigger you anymore, like you're just mum, like that is mum, like the way she is, it's not going to affect me. But if it's still a wound and you're still like you know, it's still really personal to you and stuff like it's going to really hurt you when these things happen. So actually I am, I'm a big fan of this approach as well, because I've had mentors, like you know, when I used to do like more the nlp and mindset work with coaches and it's like, yeah, your homework this week is to go and have a conversation with your dad about so and so and tell him how you feel. You don't know my, my dad, like my dad does. Like no, not conversations about feelings with dad like even if I um wanted to, which I don't like it.

Speaker 1: 41:16

Just I don't want to put him in the awkward situation like I don't, like no, but if I can heal the wound that I've got around my dad, around that thing, then it won't bother me anymore and that's like my, my approach with it, um, but yeah, I think I actually believe you. I don't know if you disagree with me, but I believe healing the mother wound is actually, as a female, um more tricky than healing the father wound. There's just, like I say, there can be so much shadow there. There's been so much projections on you your whole life and I'm not saying every mother is like this, by the way, but certainly my experience right, very shadowy yeah, totally.

Speaker 2: 41:53

They hide in the shadows and like it's a bit like limiting beliefs, right, they live under the surface, they're not always so obvious to us and then it's not until we recognize. Oh, actually this is a problem. I don't really like the way that she makes me feel when she says this or when she criticizes me or all of this different type of stuff. It can really come out and catch us off guard and you know, when we start to look at our relationship with our mother, like that's our template for female relationships, that's how we hold our friendships, that's how we conduct ourselves in business, how we make friends at work, all of this type of stuff. And one of the key signs of a mother wound is that if you cannot maintain deep, meaningful friendships with other women, there's probably a woman wound there also, like yeah, but I tell you another story, right, so this is probably right.

Speaker 1: 42:37

So I'm, I'm the person who's like um, doesn't let herself get too close to people, right? Well, didn't? I? Like to think I've changed now, but it's like, don't like get too close, like end relationships before anyone can hurt you. Like when I was in school, I was the person that's friends with everybody and I'd hang out with a different person each break time. It was like, just move around different things, hang out with different people. Like don't get anyone too close, don't do the whole like best friendy thing.

Speaker 1: 43:03

And I used and I used to have this cognitive belief from the mindset work days. Right, the mindset work was like oh, the reason why I don't let anyone too close is this that I have this belief that everyone leaves me because everyone, like all my grandparents, died when I was really young. So like by the time I was six, I'd lost three of my grandparents and my auntie died. Like it was just like, oh, everyone goes. So like, don't like get too close because everyone dies, everyone leaves you.

Speaker 1: 43:29

But actually, so like don't like get too close because everyone dies, everyone leaves you. But actually, no, it's not like it's like you say. It's actually your mother wound stuff, and I just didn't recognize that because, like I didn't trust, I just didn't trust women. I didn't trust that they had your back, I didn't trust that they um, cared, I didn't trust that like I was safe in that environment and that my emotions would be valid or all that other stuff. It's just like, well, I'm I'm like hi hyper independent, do this all myself, you know, not ask for help from anyone else.

Speaker 2: 43:55

So I love that you just said that and yeah well, obviously you've completely changed now, and when you step into your world, you have this beautiful, deeply connecting sisterhood. So yeah, I would say you definitely heal from that, linda.

Speaker 1: 44:06

Yeah, thank you but uh, yeah, but it is an ongoing thing.

Speaker 1: 44:10

It was funny because, yes, again, talking about having the conversations, um, I actually did a rebirthing yesterday and, uh, the message came through because I look at my my eldest now, and particularly when he smiles, like I look at him, like I really see my mum, which is like a really beautiful feeling, like not in any, like oh god, he looks like mum, but, like you know, he's like, oh, he looks like mum, like it's like really nice, like even the way his eyes goes when he smiles, as in breathwork, and it was just like tell mum you think that he looks like her because, like she loved that, right, and um, and I did, she sent me a message back going.

Speaker 1: 44:43

I'll take that as a massive compliment, compliment and put like three, three kisses, like where, instead of like like just saying that and just saying a nice thing to her, rather than being like mom, you completely screwed me up and made me anorexic. Like conversations don't need to happen, right, yeah, I can do that and then just say nice things to her and like keep a really nice relationship, her, the kids, um, so is there anything else you want to say or should we? Should we lead in to the mini mind?

Speaker 2: 45:09

um. So, laura, just put something in the chat and just basically about how annoying it is to do all the healing on our own sometimes, and I just want to just say, like, same hon, like I get it, and this is why, like, I am creating this mini mind so that you don't have to do it on your own. You come to a group of people and you know, obviously, since being in linda's world, like, um, you know we're all bad mates now, so you don't have to do it on your own. I'm always here for you.

Speaker 2: 45:35

But also, like, with the mini mind, that's why I decided to do it as a group, not another one-to-one offering was because, like, there are women going through this and I do genuinely believe there are some things in life that women shouldn't go through on their own, and I do believe, like, healing this part of ourselves is one of those things. So, yeah, it was kind of one of the reasons behind creating the mini mind, because I was like I was working a lot with these issues one-to-one and I was like I want to help more people, I want to impact more people's lives and I want other women to connect and realize that, yeah, it's, it's a connective thing. We can that yeah it's um, it's a connective thing.

Speaker 2: 46:13

We can do this as a connective collective god, that's a mouthful um and just like really deeply heal one another and hold space for each other, whilst also I'm like I'm leading it through teaching and active live healing.

Speaker 1: 46:20

So, yeah, that's kind of yeah, it's coming back to the tribe thing, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 46:25

It's like we, we were designed to do stuff as tribes in in community, in like and again, like you know, we would have had like sisterhood and stuff back in the day. And the beautiful thing about social media I say this all the time um, social media gets a bad rap and like mental health and all this stuff. And I get it. And also like I've connected with all my most beautiful souls through social media because what it do is when you do a group experience, like a program, mini, mind, mastermind, whatever it is you are being drawn together with like-minded people who are interested in the same thing, who have been through like, even if it's not similar things, but they have these core wounds, that same right, and so it's like you're to always find like your best friends through those things, more than like I don't know where, you know in your workplace, whatever. It is right, it's just you've got those shared like desires. So, yeah, so I'm really excited. So you start on Monday, I start on Monday.

Speaker 2: 47:21

Are doors still open? Doors are still open. So, yeah, they're open until Sunday. We are starting with our first first teaching call on monday and then we also have a live healing session next week as well. So we are jumping in. Everyone has a portal where they have lifetime access to as well. Also, throughout the mini mind, you get access to me one-to-one as well as being in a group environment. It's absolutely like crazy. Value are like 297.

Speaker 2: 47:48

Um, yeah, it's just like that opportunity for women to really come together and heal, heal what they need to heal, basically, um, in a really safe and sacred space. Um, we are having like grief ceremonies, we're having regressions, we're having all different types of healing modalities which I use also as like a random bonus. They're gonna get a load of womb clearing stuff as well which is like brand new, not released anywhere, like not even yeah, not even shed outside of my my little, my little like brain at the moment. But yeah, it's, uh, already in the portal ready for people to be to be in. So, yeah, I'm really, really excited and the group of women so far just absolutely like sensational, like they are so beautiful and I know that they're really going to get so much from this experience and I, yeah, I'm just so excited to walk like hand in hand with them through this journey. Like it makes me emotional because I'm like I'm so excited.

Speaker 1: 48:42

I'm so excited for you. This work is so needed and, yeah, kirstie's a beautiful healer and holds such a beautiful space people as well so I highly recommend, if this has resonated, or actually diving onto kirsty's page and like binging with content, because the content is so valuable as well, like you'll learn so much, and then if it's like you'll recognize yourself and just be like hell, yes, this is me. Then if that is, you just like jump in while you can, because as her business coach, I know it's never going to be this price again, because this is a beat around.

Speaker 2: 49:12

It's never going to be this price again. It might ripple the next time we run it, which will be early next year, but also, yeah, it's, yeah. It's so funny because I literally posted this morning, like not thinking about our life today, about how, like our relationship with our mother and like how, maybe, like you said, oh, we can't afford it, we can't do this, we can't do that, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I literally posted a post this morning about that about money, about our money and our mums.

Speaker 1: 49:38

So yeah, and that kind of really links in nicely with abundance codes right, yeah, oh yeah, and we were talking about it as well, weren't we? It's like we were talking earlier. We were like chatting away in telegram. We were saying, like you know people, christmas can be a big trigger for people. Um, because often, like you say you can, it'd be like, oh, I'm gonna be in the room and she's gonna like pull me apart and pick out all of my, the perceived flaws that she has, or find a flaw with this or that, or maybe you've lost your mum already and it's like you've never fully grieved that and there's part of that relationship that you want to heal. You can heal tell me if I'm speaking out of turn. You can heal that relationship with your mum, even if, like, she's moved on right because they're the the right. So even if, like, yeah, whatever it is like, if you want to go to christmas dinner and not be triggered by your mum, or you like heal anything, then now is the time.

Speaker 2: 50:27

Now is the time yeah, it's absolutely the time like is. There's no time like the present, because it's never going to be this price again. We're going to get everything done and sorted just before christmas. I often think about healing the mother wound is a bit like a filing cabinet and all the files, like they're not sitting correctly in the file and you try and close this bloody thing but it's never closing. So what we're going to do is we're going to tidy it up, put it in and when we close that filing cabinet, it's something that you never really have to look at again and if, like, you do get triggered because we all get triggered at different points you have all the tools and the skills that you'll need to regulate yourself and not be triggered by this, or are you know how to regulate yourself and how to navigate it. So it's not just learning for now, learning how to process it, it's learning tools for life, like that's why I love to deliver and everything that I do is give those tools for life.

Speaker 1: 51:15

So, yeah, I'm so excited I'm so excited, amazing, I'm excited for you. So, yes, you follow, if you're not following already. Yeah, um, and jumping mother, yeah, and next week, yes, abundance also starts on monday. Yeah, message me if you're interested in abundance codes. That's like nervous system expansion to receive and hold more wealth, with more spaciousness, more ease and, obviously, ascension, which kirsty's a part of. The business mastermind, the best party in the world yes, I love ascension.

Speaker 2: 51:45

It's absolutely incredible like I just feel, like in the first like two weeks, like there's been a massive shift already, like the group energy is sensational. Like like the minute you dropped and you're like I'm gonna do 12 months, I was like, oh, linda's my bank account. But, of course, because I'm doing abundance codes as well, like I'm just, I'm in everything and I just want, I just want more Linda and I just want, I just want more Linda.

Speaker 1: 52:11

So I mean, speaking of it, kirsty's also in the spotlight live. She's gonna be on the stage. I mean, there's so much stuff and we're not really here to sell everything today, but yeah also, we'll speak about that another time, but that's happening in December, um yeah, yes, a whole week, babe.

Speaker 2: 52:24

I'm coming to Manchester for the whole week.

Speaker 1: 52:27

I love you so much, um, and I can't wait for all the lives that are going to get transformed by mother and I cannot wait to see you in telegram. See you later. Thanks, linda, see you later. Everyone love you.