Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Embracing Inner Child Healing and Reclaiming Self-Worth

Have you ever felt like a fraud, constantly questioning your own achievements? You're not alone. Our latest episode tackles the pervasive issue of imposter syndrome and its roots in childhood experiences. We promise to guide you through understanding how these early experiences shape your perception of self-worth, often tying it to external accomplishments. Join us as we discuss practical strategies to shift your mindset, empowering you to reclaim your worthiness and assess if others are worthy of your energy.

Navigating the murky waters of comparison and self-doubt can be a daunting task, especially when criticism from authority figures and the pressures of social media amplify these feelings. We share personal stories and reflections that highlight how societal norms can lead to internalized beliefs of inadequacy. By recognizing and appreciating our achievements, we cultivate a positive self-image, moving away from negative self-talk and toward a healthier, more forgiving mindset. We explore how embracing this shift not only aids personal development but also bolsters self-celebration.

The episode culminates in a discussion on the transformative power of inner child healing as a catalyst for overcoming imposter syndrome. By nurturing our inner child, we address subconscious beliefs and foster genuine confidence. Explore the essential integration of core values to achieve authenticity in all life aspects. We also introduce our "Reborn" mentorship program, a structured path for those seeking profound personal growth through mind, body, and soul work. Consider if you're ready to embark on this path to greater self-trust and authenticity.

Chapters

• 0:00 Reclaiming Worthiness
• 6:33 Overcoming Comparison and Self-Doubt
• 15:18 Healing Imposter Syndrome Through Inner Child
• 18:30 Embracing Inner Child Healing Journey

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast. Today we are talking about reclaiming worthiness and how inner child work helps you overcome imposter syndrome. Okay, if you ever feel like you're not good enough, or if you're like one step away from being found out as a fraud, or that your success is just luck, you're not alone. Imposter syndrome is so, so popular and I feel like it's a constant weight, no matter how accomplished you are, until you deal with it. But here's the thing imposter syndrome isn't just about your skills and achievement. It roots much deeper than that. Obviously, we're here. We're going to be talking about early childhood experiences of not being enough. We may have felt like we had to lie when we were younger to become acceptable, for whatever reason. Again, we're putting on these various different masks in order to fit in as we grow up through our life, and then we forget our authentic self. And then, when we're not anchored into our core values, into who we are, guess what? We feel like an imposter, and you can enjoy that singing as much as you like. Feel free to rewind. Now we're going to be talking about inner child healing and how it can help you overcome imposter syndrome and to reclaim your worthiness, and, of course, I'll be sharing some practical exercises to help you as well. So what is imposter syndrome? Everyone kind of knows this saying. I think people mostly know this saying if you're in the personal development world and if you don't't welcome. Imposter syndrome is basically this internal belief that you're not capable, competent or deserving as others think you are. That is so fucking jarring, I know, but it's the truth. It's that nagging feeling that your success is a fluke and that at any moment you'll be exposed as a fraud, that you can't do this like, you're not qualified for it. I just got lucky. If people knew the real me, they wouldn't trust me. And how this shows up in our high achieving babes is that we downplay our achievements or we attribute them to external factors like, oh but this happened, that happened that allowed me to do this, not taking the full recognition of it. If you're also like somebody who doesn't like to be in the spotlight, I highly recommend going back and listening to the previous episode about fear of visibility, because that fucking that is fucking good and it really does interlink with imposter syndrome as well. So over preparing to compensate for deep feelings of inadequacy, like you know, stressing out in the night before you have to give a presentation, for deep feelings of inadequacy, like you know, stressing out in the night before you have to give a presentation, a talk, or you have a meeting or appraisal or something with your boss, or you're doing a workshop or whatever. It is okay. You just over-prepare because you wanna overcompensate for the feelings of inadequacy and, again, avoiding visibility or opportunities due to failure of judgment, fear of failure or judgment. You can listen more about the visibility in my last episode. So the inner child. Okay, how does the inner child shape imposter syndrome?

Speaker 1: 3:01

Many of the beliefs fueling imposter syndrome can be traced back to inner child experiences. So conditional love. So that would look like if you receive love, attention or approval only when you performed well, so when you got high grades or you won a competition or you were doing really well in your extracurricular activities, if you were, um, just getting really good things happening, you, you know you may have got your degree, all of this stuff. And then what happens is your value ends up being tied to your achievements and as we go through life we have less opportunities to achieve because in primary school we're probably getting a gold star and a certificate a week. As an adult, you don't. The achievements and the stakes are a lot higher. Our achievements are measured in what house do we have, how many kids do we have, what relationship do we have? And these can be really, really big things.

Speaker 1: 3:51

And what happens is we just have this internalized value that we are tied to our achievements and if you're not excelling, you're not worthy of love, attention or acceptance. So you feel this intense pressure to constantly prove your worth, and that can be in every area. You may be the person in the relationship that absolutely does everything for the other person and, you know, even pay for them. You may do all this stuff for them because you feel like you have to prove your worth and you have to be worthy. You will often put other people on a pedestal because you'll feel like, oh fuck, I really need to prove that I'm worth, like this person, when actually it should always be. Is this person worthy of me? This is how, like when you start to switch your mindset, you start to think is this person worthy of me? If the answer is no, that's good. That's good enough. You don't have to be worthy enough for anybody that you know. That's where this self-worth comes back to. This is where we start to reclaim ourself.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Um, and that thought may have never even crossed your mind before and you know you may have heard it and sometimes we hear things multiple times, but hopefully that is something that is like I've said it, you've heard it before, but it's hit you like a fucking big school bus because you need to decide, like, if people are worthy enough for your energy. Your energy isn't free, it isn't just available anyway. Just because there was conditional love doesn't mean that you are not incredible, as you are okay and success may not feel satisfying because there's just this baseline being acceptable, like you know. Oh well, you know she always does well, or she's always great. She always does well in her classes or in her school, or in her job, or in her career or in her relationship, whatever it just you know it just becomes acceptable, so it doesn't become satisfactory anymore for you. Or, like you know, people may not give you the recognition that you are constantly chasing, which can feel really frustrating as well and really embarrassing to admit. Like you know, it's not something that we like to admit about ourselves, that we constantly want that external validation and the feeling of failure feels catastrophic and reinforces the belief that you're not worthy. This is all linked to this conditional love.

Speaker 1: 6:06

You know where you were kind of ignored or told to shut up, be quiet, sit down, don't put you know, don't take out space, don't be visible as a child. And then what happens is you grow up and then you get all this love and attention for, like, the good things that you do. So you feel like, okay, well, I just do more of this. And then what happens is you grow up and then you get all this love and attention for, like, the good things that you do. So you feel like, okay, well, I just do more of this, and then that's what um, makes me, makes me really good. So the another thing that we should talk about is criticism or comparison. So what does this look like? As a child, like as a parent?

Speaker 1: 6:33

A teacher, authority figure may have pointed out where you could have done better, rather than celebrating what you did well. So it might be like, oh, well done, but you could have done better. Like if you got an, a, oh well, you could have got an, a star um, you might have been compared to your siblings, your classmates, to family friends who seem to be doing things better than you. Oh well, you know, claire's daughter does this. Oh well, fucking great. Thanks, like thanks, fuck you, claire. I don't know you do you know what I mean? It's just one of those things where the that authority figure points out where you could have been doing better instead of celebrating what you did well. So obviously, like we need to have a level of criticism, but if we're not ever told anything positive, then it just becomes really really hard.

Speaker 1: 7:17

I had an experience with a coach where I would get little little celebration from her and what she would do would be constantly pointing out where I did wrong, and this was massively triggering for me because, guess what, nobody likes to be told that they're doing things wrong all the time. Like I no longer work with that coach solely for that reason, and that's because, like it's just internalizing that message that I'm not enough as I am, and I fucking am. I'm a fucking genius with this stuff. I have this unique gift. I'm here to share it with the world and before, if you had said, if you had told me to say that I would have felt really arrogant. I would have felt like, oh my god, how dare I take up that space or claim such a thing. But it's the fucking truth and it's just like.

Speaker 1: 7:59

How much evidence do you need, like how many 250 clients? Like how much more evidence do I need to show that I can transform people's lives, that I can support them through really difficult journeys, that I can walk the path with them? I have a beautiful healing gift where I can tap into people's inner child, into different versions of them. So, of course, I'm gonna be like I'm fucking. I'm fucking it, like do you know what I mean? Because if I don't believe it and I'm not that person who is showing up and being that strong authority person for myself, who's gonna trust me? Who's gonna trust me to hold them?

Speaker 1: 8:33

So what happens is when you are compared or there's a lot of criticism as a child, you always feel like you're never good. Is, when you are compared or there's a lot of criticism as a child, you always feel like you're never good enough as you are. This is something I see with literally every single fucking client, like they just feel like they're not good enough. Um, someone will always be smarter than you, more talented than you or more deserving than you. All of this stuff right, and you know what? There is a spectrum out there because there are people who, like I'm not fucking Elon Musk right. But there is a spectrum out there because there are people who like I'm not fucking Elon Musk right, but and people will be smarter, they'll be more talented, they'll be more I wouldn't say I don't think anybody's more deserving but they'll be more smarter, more talented people. But there'll be a lot of other people as well who are not as talented, who are not as smart as you.

Speaker 1: 9:11

Okay, so when you're taking this in, you start to overanalyze your work, fear and criticism. You may get really, really defensive with your boss at work when they say, oh, like this isn't right, can you change this, can you change that? You might get really fucking defensive and be like oh, and take it really personally. You may struggle to celebrate your accomplishments because you focus on what you could have done better and I, like you know, we all slip into this. I did this recently. I did a live session and I was like that just didn't feel right and it's because, like, I didn't feel like the playlist went that well and then, like I ended up, like you know, everyone was like I had such an amazing experience, but then I'm like worrying about the playlist. So sometimes that is how stupid it can sound Like you may have all this love and appreciation, appreciation but you're fixated on something like really, really small.

Speaker 1: 9:59

And of course I had a word with myself and I stopped comparing myself, stopped that like criticism, it's, you know, and I always find like when I'm not in a great headspace, this is, this is a type of like set, like negative self-talk comes in. But I've learned now the tool to be, you know, the tools to be all like okay, cool, like I'm gonna forgive myself or whatever. I'm not gonna be angry at myself. I'm, I did a fucking great job. Everyone had a good experience. Like let it go when before I would spend so long beating myself up over it. Okay, so it's absolutely possible to overcome this type of stuff. This is what I'm doing on this podcast hopefully giving hope that, yeah, it just is possible to change, because when you start to compare yourself to others, it can really become like second nature and then it just reinforces your feelings of inadequacy.

Speaker 1: 10:44

And I see this so much on social media. Like people are always, always on social media and they're just yeah, like comparing themselves to I don't know Becky with a good hair down the fucking road. Who's got this, who just made this in her business, or has this husband, or has it all together. But you know, it reminds me of like the situation I had when I was in Bali and I was looking at this amazing, beautiful view and then the minute I turned to the side, it's just a fucking construction site. And this is what life is like. Okay, this is what life is like living through social media, like nobody is posting the tears they tears, they're crying the difficult family relationships, their relationship breakdown I don't know, some people might do that, but a lot of people don't or the difficulty their children are having at school. All of this stuff. Like people don't talk about this stuff openly on social media. It's a highlight reel and it's fucking lovely to watch all of these really good things highlight reel and it's fucking lovely to watch all of these really good things. But if it's making you feel bad about you, then I highly recommend you just unfollow or you mute people just to get yourself back into a really good place where you're feeling good about you.

Speaker 1: 11:46

So again it comes back to feeling invisible. You know you may feel like your thoughts, your feelings, your needs were dismissed, you were overshadowed by your siblings, a demanding parent, or, you know financial struggles of the family where, like you mainly not were able to have like brand new clothes, for example, you had to have the hand-me-downs from your siblings. And you know, if you're in a busy household with a big family, your accomplishments might get overlooked as well. So, then, this message is all your voice doesn't matter, your efforts are never enough to make a difference and, as an adult, you'll hesitate to speak up, to share your ideas, fearing they won't be valued. You end up in relationships with people who do not value you. They end up just taking the piss because they are happy for you to do everything for them and to like accommodate your life for them rather than like showing up. And also, this can lead to loads of like situationships, like to things being, um, like really one-siding in relationships. Okay, you'll downplay your achievements, you'll assume that they're not important and you'll work harder to gain recognition and still feel unseen, no matter how much you achieve. So this is why this cycle is so fucking harmful.

Speaker 1: 12:59

Okay, this is why this desperate need to shift this imposter syndrome is so important, because you never win. You never win, and you know what I feel like this is society's game, and we get to say that I'm just not playing anymore and you get to change your whole fucking life and the way that you approach your life, because you are in control Like you are in control of everything in your life. You are the creator, you are the person that's making things happen, and if you are calling in a life that you're not happy with, then you need to do the internal work. If you are not calling in the ideal clients for your business, if you're not working at a job you fucking hate, if you are constantly dealing with situationships and fuckboys, you are calling in these situations because there is something fundamentally within you that needs to change. Why? Because what happens on the inside gets radiated throughout or outwards, and this is the people that we attract. This is the level of people that we attract.

Speaker 1: 13:53

Okay, so when we look at the inner child and why this matters, it's because the inner child is the younger version of you who lives through these experiences and form these beliefs. When we are between the age of like, from the minute we're born to eight, subconscious mind is really, really forming and this is creating our our map of the world, if you like, it's caught. It's everything that we've, that we need to know to keep us safe. We're internalizing beliefs and, you know, we try to make sense of the world and this is often our survival mechanism as well. Okay, and then, when we get to like the inner child bit, we end up learning these beliefs that if I achieve enough, they'll love me, if I don't make mistakes, they won't criticize me, if I stay quiet, I'll avoid rejection. And then this just ripples out into every area of your life. Your inner child is with you 100% of the time.

Speaker 1: 14:46

Okay, and these beliefs may have helped you to hope as a child, but as an adult, they've turned into like these invisible barriers, these roadblocks that are completely holding you back from reaching your full potential and going after what your heart desires. Right, I'm not talking about goals this year. I'm talking about desires. I'm talking about what your fucking heart wants, what you're craving, what your body just really goes. Oh, I'm so excited for this fucking thing. That's why that's the person I'm talking to. The person wants to really open their heart, and how these wounds can show up today is like.

Speaker 1: 15:18

You feel like a fraud, even when you're succeeding. This is imposter syndrome. Okay, you hesitate to take risk or embrace visibility because you fear failure or rejection and you brush off phrase or recognition, thinking they don't really mean it. Uh, they don't real know that, they. They don't know the real me. They don't know the real me is what I'm trying to say. And this is because you're not showing up authentically in your life. Why? Because you're afraid to show up authentically, because you don't want to have the criticism, you don't want to be rejected, you don't want to be judged. And again, I'm always going to come back to that ancestral line of like hello, this is what happened when we were all accused of fucking witches. And even if you were not burnt at the stake in a previous life or a fucking family line, the threat is enough. Remember, trauma doesn't have to be the physical act, it can be the threat. The threat is enough, okay, so how do we move forward from this?

Speaker 1: 16:07

You need to look at your inner child, okay, you need to overcome your imposter syndrome by going to your inner child. You can go to a coach or to a therapist or to whoever and talk about this, and that's fine and it will raise a level of self-awareness. But what we really need to do is to get into the body. Why? Because this is still living within you. Okay, our conscious mind is only five percent of our brain. 95% is our subconscious mind. And how can we talk about things that we don't necessarily have access to or we're able to verbalize? Or we know that we feel a way, but we can't really describe it. We rely on words so much in society to communicate, but it's not the only way of communication. We really need to get into the body. We need to understand what parts of you are not feeling seen, what parts of you are not feeling heard or valued. You know what are the limiting beliefs that we need to rewrite that fuel this imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 16:58

Okay, because when you heal your inner child, you heal the root cause. This is, oh god, I cannot tell you. Like, if you are smart, you always go to healing your inner child. Why? Because you can go to a confidence coach. You can go to all these things. I think they're, they're brilliant once you've done the inner child work. Okay, when you are going to individual people to heal things, the problem is one the coach may not have had the childhood you have had or really understand the true meaning of inner child work and why it's impacting you. So, for example, how I would advise that you would do is that you would do a lot of inner child work. You'd work on the inner child, healing the mother, the father, and then go on and feel like, if okay, all right, I've healed this root problem and now I want to increase my confidence. I think that is a brilliant way to use those coaches, but I don't think like going to a confidence coach and then going to somebody about, um, employment, uh, employment, like being more confident at work, and then going and having this imposter syndrome coach and then having this one and then that one.

Speaker 1: 17:58

You're just spending so much fucking money because you're not tackling the root cause. Okay, and that is it like. You have to tackle the root cause because, not only that, you'll find that when you tackle the root cause, because not only that, you'll find that when you tackle the root cause, it will remove things from your life that you didn't even know was a problem. That's exactly what happened to me. It's exactly what happens to my clients. They become so liberated and I feel like the word liberated is used a lot but they become so liberated in their experience, because they really release these constraints on them.

Speaker 1: 18:30

And when you start to heal your inner child, you begin to trust yourself again. You begin to trust your abilities to embrace your success, to be authentic in your personal and professional life, like at the end of the day, you should not be having two separate core values. You should have a core value that is you, that is you as a fucking person. Okay, and something I literally love to tell myself all the time is my inner child deserves to feel safe, loved, worthy, just as she is. When we go back and we actually do that connecting work to your inner child and we build that relationship, you become one. You're not a fractured person anymore, like where you, you, you isolate yourself from your child and you segment it off. You're not. You bring it back together. You really do become so fucking whole in this experience and, like I said, I do have limited spaces open for reborn, which is my three months in 10th inner child mentorship, where we are getting into the body, where we are going to be using our mind, body and soul to get, to get you to where you want to be.

Speaker 1: 19:35

So, if you are interested, the link is down below it's application only because I only work with specific people who I know, who are going to put the work in and who are like those high achieving babes who really want to go to the next level. So if that's you, then literally, then literally, hit the link below. If you want to have a chat with me, then just send me a message and we can talk about it then. But I would just love to hear what your thoughts were of this episode. If this is you, are you going to be an imposter syndrome recovery person? Let me know, because we just need more people out here, more more authentic, beautiful women shining their light. And guess what that means? You sending you loads of love.