How to Activate your Voice!

Unlock the secrets to overcoming emotional barriers in personal relationships and transform your communication skills with us. Have you ever wondered why high-achieving women, confident in their careers, often struggle to express their emotions at home? This episode promises to shed light on this common disconnect, tracing its roots back to childhood experiences that foster silence and perfectionism. With real-life examples, like a client excelling at work but faltering on setting boundaries at home, we'll guide you through recognizing these patterns and taking meaningful steps towards healing and balance.

Embrace the courage to own your voice and affirm your right to be heard. Throughout the episode, we celebrate the personal progress and mini victories that mark your growth journey, offering inspiration and practical advice for authentically communicating in all aspects of life. Meet "Activate Your Voice," our transformative one-month mentorship program that helps you shatter childhood blocks through personalized healing work, energy sessions, and regression therapy. With ongoing support via Telegram, this program is designed to empower you to express yourself freely and effectively. Ready to transform your communication? Join us for an enlightening discussion and find out how to get started.

Chapters

• 0:00 Activating Your Voice in Relationships
• 12:11 Owning Your Voice

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Let's talk about activating your voice. So this training is for you. If you nail work, if you're like that girl in your career who, like, can give the presentation, no problem, your hand is up in meetings, you're giving your ideas, you are challenging people like a pro, you are expressing your feelings in personal, in your professional relationships Hi, thanks for joining. In professional relationships, like, absolutely fine. But when it comes to your personal relationships, it's a completely different story. Like if you are putting on that persona to go to work and be this boss babe, and you are telling people how you feel all of this different type of stuff but then when it comes to, like, your personal relationships, you find it so incredibly difficult to communicate where you are. Then this training is for you. So I'm going to be here for I don't know how long I I'm going to say 10 minutes, but I'm not sure how long and we're just going to talk about these feelings and how we're going to work through them. So today, what I'm going to be learning are, like, what I'm going to be learning? What I'm going to be teaching are three things so why expressing your feelings is hard in relationships, how this pattern is holding you back, and steps to move forward, because obviously we want to know how we're going to move forward.

Speaker 1: 1:13

So obviously I'm in a child healer. What am I going to tell you? Everything comes back to your inner child and if you start to really adopt this and to start to understand okay, right, the root of the problem came from my childhood or early life experience you will unlock so many things in your life. You will not need to go to multiple people for healing, for multiple workshops, for trainings to different therapists or try different things. You will just start to realize, okay, cool, this is the root problem and this is what I need to really focus in on and get stuck into in order to heal the stuff wider across my life. So the explanation I'm going to talk about now is the connection to childhood, which you know, I've said it, but as a child, we can struggle to use our voice authentically, especially if you grew up in a household where maybe you were the youngest sibling, maybe you were middle child, um, often you're told shut up, be quiet and don't want to hear from you, you don't know anything, uh, or you might just be made to feel that way. You might be sat at the table and the answer you give about how school was that day might just be not good enough or not good enough according to your parents, right? You may have just good enough according to your parents, right? You may have just often said sorry, I'm losing my train of thought because I have so much I want to say about this. I'm so excited, um, but yeah, but basically you were just forced into being this little good girl, okay.

Speaker 1: 2:36

And then, as you've grown up and you've gone through your career, you've built up this persona of this really confident woman in her career, in her business, whatever it is. And then, when it comes to, like, personal relationships and understanding personal relationships, it can be so hard because you'll often sit there being like, but my thoughts don't matter, but what I'm saying is isn't matter, isn't going to matter all of this different thing, like all of this different stuff that is going to go through your mind when it comes to personal relationships. So this keeps you being like quiet, agreeable, like, you know, even a perfectionist. You know what, like I found particularly with my childhood, is that if I felt like if I was perfect, then my, then my mother wouldn't shout at me, and it can be those little like micro traumas that live within us and take up space and then can really influence how we use our voice. So perhaps you only you know you learned that sharing your feelings only led to arguments, rejection, even punishment like I remember being really upset and being punished for it like that is so entirely possible to happen as well. Okay, so over time you internalize the belief that, like it's better to keep our emotions to ourselves and to keep us our feelings to ourselves, rather than putting it out there.

Speaker 1: 3:50

Now, as a high achieving babe, you're out there. You are having a completely different pattern in work. You're showing up to work almost like an entirely different person. You are able to make decisions effectively. You're able to communicate, have difficult conversations with clients, whatever it is. You're that person who is happy to put their voice up in the air and be like hey, I am so, so ready to have this conversation. I have all these ideas and you don't really care if those ideas land or not.

Speaker 1: 4:16

But then when it comes back to your relationships, it becomes really uneven. It just becomes hard. It just becomes hard. So, for example, I had like a client of mine and she had no problem, like showing up to work and everything. But she couldn't set boundaries with her husband, like in how they keep the house and how they clean and everything. Like she's showing up to work, she's being that boss babe, even though it's like her own business as a side hustle, but she's really just struggling with that, like showing up at home and speaking her truth. So if this is familiar to you, like do reach out and let me know. So now I'm going to talk more about how this pattern shows up in your life, because obviously that is your connection to childhood, and now I'm going to show you about how this pattern shows up. So basically, you're hiding your true feelings. So when you really want to have a conversation with maybe your mum, your dad, your romantic partner, your friend, you might just find yourself saying I'm fine. Now, how many women have actually turned around and been like I'm fine, I'm.

Speaker 1: 5:14

When we're really not fine, in order to avoid conflict, we push the emotions down and we are told to be the peacekeepers, because that's what we're designed to do as women. We're designed to keep the peace right. So I really want to just highlight that this isn't just a youth thing, it's a generational thing. We would have seen our mothers do it, our grandmothers do it. That would have been passed through our dna and that's an entirely different conversation and something else that we have to contend with as women in terms of like sharing our voice.

Speaker 1: 5:41

We avoid difficult conversations and this can lead to like really like horrible things, like relationship breakdowns, friendships, things like that because you didn't tell how you felt in the beginning and then they built up to this unreal thing that you were unable to manage. You may also have like emotional outbursts. You might kind of feel really embarrassed about that, because when we're not able to control our emotions, it can be quite embarrassing sometimes. And when you're avoiding these difficult conversations, you're avoiding setting boundaries, you're avoiding taking up space in which you deserve and you deserve to basically tell people how they should be treating you, so you may downplay your needs as part of this like oh my god, this hyper independent stuff I like, as a woman, is ridiculous. Now we are told, as women, we can have it all, but we don't need to have it all. Okay, we have studies that show that women now have the most rights that we've ever had, but we're the most unhappy. Why? Because we tried to do it all. Okay, we have studies that show that women now have the most rights that we've ever had. But we're the most unhappy. Why? Because we tried to do it all and we tried to do all ourselves. Why because we've had generations of teaching us we need to be hyper independent.

Speaker 1: 6:45

Maybe you, when you were younger, your parents, like put loads of emotional stuff on you. Maybe you had to be the adults in the relationship, like I did when I was a kid. I had to be the adult in the relationship, like I did when I was a kid. I had to be the adult in the relationship. So what did that mean for me? It meant that I had to put my needs aside to prioritize somebody else. And then when you learn that as a child you grow up and then you end up downplaying your needs, you never ask for help for what you want, like not just what you need, but what you want. Like this is a huge thing. Like when you wrap around your head. The fact that, like, we only ever ask for what we need when we're absolutely desperate for it, not what we just truly want and desire and deserve help with, it's completely mind boggling. Okay, you don't wanna seem demanding. You don't wanna seem like too much, you don't wanna seem like you're taking advantage of other people, but really what you're doing is asking for a good energy exchange of you helping them and them helping you.

Speaker 1: 7:39

You may overthink emotional exchanges, so how many conversations have you had in the shower, with yourself, in the car, like you reply to conversations in your head and then you go. Oh, I wish I had said this. I wish I had said that, like all of this stuff that goes around in your head and just it's so draining when you're in this way and you're worrying about how the other person felt throughout this. You're worrying about how they, how they were feeling and all of this stuff. But actually how the fuck are you feeling like? This is the important part, right, which I'm going to be hammering home all the way through this is that you are the most important person in your life and the minute that you start to really embody that, transformation happens so, so quickly for you.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Something else that you know, in the way that it shows up for your life, is trying to gain others approval, like you might. Also, you know you always want to make sure that you're keeping everybody happy. Okay, you might want to keep the peace, and that will be at the emotional expense of your own well-being. You might feel like all of my friends want to do this and I really don't want to do that, but I feel like I have to. We've all been in those situations and it's always about picking your battles as well. Right, I'm not telling you to never go out with your friends again. What I'm saying is, if it's something you really don't want to do and it's gonna bring you more stress and anxiety than actually doing the thing, and it's going to bring you more stress and anxiety than actually doing the thing and it's something where you're like I just don't want to do this, don't do it. That's it. This is your permission. Just literally, don't do it.

Speaker 1: 9:02

The impact on your life it isn't just about what you don't say, it's about the emotional distance it creates as well. Like, oh god, when I think about my six-year relationship and how like we really emotionally drifted over years, if I had said how I had felt from the start, I probably wouldn't have been in that relationship that long. I would have left a lot sooner. Things would have been really different, because the relationship becomes more surface level. Resentment builds. Resentment is the number one killer to any romantic relationship. If you're walking around resenting your other, your partner, you're going babe, like, babe, like it's a real serious thing. Those mini resentments like they grow up. Where you're like you know, they grow into this much bigger thing, where you're feeling like you're unseen, you're unheard, he doesn't understand me anyway, so I'm not gonna bother and you go into this spiral and guess what? It leads to the end of your romantic relationship. And this can happen with friendships as well. So if this is you and you're like oh, I am seen, I am seen, then let me know, because I'm here for it. I'm here for it. This is what I'm here for. I'm here to help people. This is why I'm doing these free trainings quite frequently at the moment, because I really want to educate people and how they can do this and how they can move forward. Well, we are going to be talking about how do you move forward.

Speaker 1: 10:20

So using your voice is a skill that you need to build. Okay, so it doesn't matter what happened in the past, it doesn't matter what happens in the future. You can literally start to build your voice here and now. Today, you can activate your voice here and now. Today, you can acknowledge and validate your experiences and your feelings, because that's okay. It's okay if your emotions don't make sense. It's okay if things don't really make sense or you feel a bit I don't know all over the place with it. That's absolutely fine. Just allow yourself to feel it, it's fine.

Speaker 1: 10:50

You may want to practice more acts of expression, so you might want to say to your friend like, oh, I'd rather eat at this restaurant. Or that comment didn't sit well with me. You know, trying these little things where you can start to say how you feel, small wins build confidence right. Good confidence is built on evidence that we can do something. This is why you have to get out there and do the freaking thing, which can be so hard, because if you've got your inner child hanging on at your skirt for, like dear life, pulling you back going, it's not safe, it's not safe, it's not safe. This, this stuff can be really hard. So this is why we are rewiring our brain and this is why this stuff doesn't happen overnight and anybody selling you a quick fix is selling you a bunch of lies, because it's not quickly, it's not a quick thing to re, to like rewire your brain. Can you do it in a month? Can you do in three months? Yes, absolutely, but you cannot do it overnight. Or in a week, okay, or in you know a few days. It has to have some form of longevity to it, and the person that you're working with or you want to work with needs to be giving you tools, not just like, just like chat okay. We want tools, practical tools that you can implement for the rest of your life. So, if this ever happens again, or you have the ability to keep these skills really, really strong because you've got the tools also, vulnerability is strength.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Sharing your feelings isn't a weakness. It isn't. It's an act of courage, and to say how you truly feel is actually so incredibly brave, even when self-drought creeps in, even when it's just such a difficult thing to want to do, then please go back and just remind yourself that it's safe to express yourself, your feelings matter and you're worthy of being heard. Okay, so yes, and celebrate your progress, celebrate the mini wins that you get all the time. This is what I say to my clients all the time.

Speaker 1: 12:40

It doesn't matter what you're doing, just literally celebrate yourself at every given moment and if you're like, oh my god, like I really want to learn how to activate my voice, go deeper into this, then I have literally just launched an offer today. It's called activate your voice. It's my one month healing mentorship and in that month we are literally going to be removing any blocks from your childhood that that will allow you to take up space and to use your voice so you can go from that babe who is like in the office doing really well but going home and then really struggling with her personal relationships, struggling with her romantic relationship, all of that stuff. If you're that person, this is absolutely perfect for you so that you can just own your voice in every aspect of your life and communicate your feelings, communicate your boundaries and just relief like that, that, that like emotional burden that you've been carrying on your on your shoulders for a really long time. So it's called activate your voice. It's one month, isn't?

Speaker 1: 13:40

It's a healing mentorship, because we not only do chatting, we do deep healing work, we do energy work, we will be doing regression and it's not like a cookie cutter thing, it's not like, oh, I'm gonna be doing this thing for so long with you. No, it is entirely decided on what you want and what you need and if you need any additional resources, with that, you get them, and you get support in telegram as well in between sessions. So if you are like heck, yeah, I really want to activate my voice, then make sure to leave a comment or send me a dm and I will send you all of the details. And if you're just logging on now, maybe go back and look when I post this, because this training was pretty good. So, yeah, if you need anything, if you want to talk about activating your voice, then please let me know and I will see you really soon.