Find Your Inner Glow Podcast

The Cost Of Ignoring Your Intuition: The Time I Didn't Listen To My Intuition And It Completely Destroyed Business.

August 19, 2024 Kirsty Harris

Have you ever ignored that nagging inner voice, only to later wish you hadn't? I share intimate stories of how disregarding my intuition led to harrowing experiences, including a chilling encounter with a stalker. These personal accounts serve as a powerful reminder of the importance of tuning into our inner voice to avoid potential dangers and poor life choices. I also recount my transformative journey from a traditional 9-to-5 grind to a spiritually fulfilling career, highlighting the profound impact of aligning our actions with our true values and desires.

Discover the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with a deceitful coach and the mental strain that followed when I ignored my gut feeling. This episode underscores the crucial role of intuition in decision-making, especially in high-pressure situations. I'll guide you through the significance of creating space for introspection to let your intuition lead the way. Reflecting on rebellious teenage years and learning to trust my gut, even when it seemed illogical, I reveal how intuition often provides the next step on our path. Don't miss future episodes focused on deepening our understanding of intuition. Connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email to share your own stories and thoughts!

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Speaker 1:

hello, I am back and today I want to talk to you all about when I have not listened to my intuition. It's completely fucked me over, because your intuition is the best coach that you will ever have in your entire life and I just really wanted to just go through this story and just raise awareness about how not listening to your intuition can massively impact you. So there have been times in my life where I've literally had big warning las vegas signs being like girl, don't do it, don't do it. And then I'm like I'm not gonna do it, girl, I'm not gonna do it. I did it and then absolutely fucking regret it afterwards, right? So oh, I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1:

So a few years ago I met this man on the first date. There were a few red flags okay, I'll say a few, there was loads. He was just a fucking yeah, he was just like a screaming red flag, walking red flag right and they. I remember the exact moment where I was like ah, sir, what is going on here? Which is I had got up and I had got gone to leave, like we were leaving, and he bent down and he tied my shoelace and I was like, oh, I beg, I am in trouble here. But I was like, oh, I'm going to ignore my, I'm going to ignore it, I'm going to ignore it. Anyway, hop, skip and a jump. I got stalker for 18 months, messaged my friends had to block his number. I got stalker for 18 months, messaged my friends had to block his number, block his abroad number, block him on email. I had to block the man on email. Okay, like it was literally crazy, during that time he would message my, he messaged my friends when I was in Las Vegas, like it was relentless, so that's without him actually just showing up on my property whenever he felt like completely pushing me into that fight, flight, fall and freeze situation where I didn't know how to manage it.

Speaker 1:

And this all started because I didn't listen to my intuition. Yeah, she was screaming at me. I'm going. No, no, no. But you know and we've all been there like think about the last time that like you had that really strong pull in your tummy, that really strong like feeling in your chest or just that like sense of being unsure about something, and you explain it away. Oh, I write people off too soon, or maybe this is just an off day, or you know, or maybe it's just me being this or that. Well, guess what? No, your intuition is never off, okay? So I'm going to talk to you about something that happened to me at the beginning of the year, because it wasn't really until the beginning of the year that I really bucked up my ideas, because when I really want something, I will do anything I can to get it right.

Speaker 1:

So I got to January, I decided to bin off Holistic Coach Kirsty. I was like I'm past this. Now I really want to grow into a new, new version of me. I feel like I'm way more than just manifestation coaching. I'm more into, like you know, spirituality. I've got deep knowledge around spirituality and, as I was getting like and even now, like back then, I'm like the last seven months have massively changed in terms of my spirituality and my connection and everything it's. Yeah, I just felt like I wanted something to grow into, which now, like as you know, I'm moving into more alignment and intuition based.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, with me at the beginning of the year, I was somebody who really wanted financial success. I really wanted to just ditch my nine-to-five. That was completely sucking the life out of me. I wanted to grow my business. I wanted to genuinely help people. I really wanted to help people, get more spiritual, tap into that spiritual side of them and just, yeah, really really help them. You know, I really wanted to live a life of flexibility, like do what I want, not feel guilty when I sleep into 9.30 on a weekday, or, you know, stop that 9 to 5 second in the life out of me, stop doing everything what everybody else wants me to do, like, like you know, I only went to university because that's what people told me I should do. It wasn't because I really wanted to do. You know, I wanted to be able to be with my friends and spend time with my friends.

Speaker 1:

It was one of those things where, like I remember, once I had gone, I was working and I was working, I was working. I was like, right, I have to leave now, and I literally made my my friend's baby shower. I missed the entire event for, apart from the last 20 minutes, and I showed up rushed in with a present and it was rushed and it was just my friends, she's so beautiful and she was like, don't even worry, I'm just glad that you made the effort. That means the most to me, but I had missed this event of like this baby and I was so, so close with this friend Well, I'm so close to her now. We would go out every Thursday while she was pregnant and on maternity leave. So then and then, when the baby came, like we go out every week, like we still do that now. We go out every week while she's on maternity leave, so that we can spend time with each other, enjoy the baby together, like you know, just give her support and just you know, just be friends, and I absolutely adore the baby cuddles.

Speaker 1:

But, yeah, I don't even know where I was going with that. But what I'm trying to say is is that I really wanted that, you know, I really wanted to have that flexibility to to be able to not miss these really incredible moments with my friends and my family anymore. I just didn't want to do it. So in January, I was feeling desperate. I'm going to be honest, like I'm going to talk about some freaking ugly things today, but it's my honest and it's my honesty, it's my vulnerability, it's me being really fucking honest so that you can be honest with yourself as well, right? So I felt desperate and I was like scrolling on Instagram looking at all these different people, and I found this coach Okay and I was like, oh my God, she earns this much money.

Speaker 1:

This was her client result earning money, doing this, really pulling people into what I felt was like her manifesting and putting things into alignment, and I felt like she had very big, big energy, which you know it's not. I feel like she had very big, big energy, which you know is not. I feel like people think that I have big energy, but I don't. I don't feel like I'm. I'm in your face, I am in your face, but I guess my perception of me is that I know a lot of other big, main character energy type people and I don't feel like I'm there. I feel like I'm like the middle of the ground. I'm not somebody who's a complete introvert. I am an introverted extrovert where, like, I need that downtime to chill but also be out there and be like with people. I need both. So I ended up being like I really like the client results that she's sharing, but there's something about her which I'm not sold on like really not sold on, right.

Speaker 1:

And then I decided to jump on a one-to-one call with her and you know, the whole call was basically like a sales pitch about how she was going to change my life and she was going to give me those things of ditching my nine-to-five, of making things really possible for me, all of this stuff, and before I knew it, I was there at checkout willing to pay £3,000. Now this was the most and the biggest investment I'd ever invested in myself. You know, we've all bought those courses that we never looked at, or the workshop that we said that we were going to attend, or all those freebies that we never looked at. Of course I had all of those, but this was my first proper, not real money, like what felt like real money investment in my business. Okay, so I was convinced that she was going to change my life, for me and like she kind of ushered me to pay.

Speaker 1:

There was pressure there. There was pressure there and there was something within me going Chrissy, do not do this, do not do this. Take time and again, you know the dismissive thought comes in oh no, no, it's probably because this is the biggest money I've ever spent on myself and my business, all of this stuff. And as soon as I clicked pay. You know that feeling that like your stomach just sinks and you're like what have I done. I wasn't filled with excitement or expansive energy. I was filled with dread and I was like, oh, it's probably just because I've spent a large sum of money. I you know, oh, I don't really know. Like all of this, this is a new experience to me. Maybe that's why it's not feeling right. Okay, and this is where the problem started.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, it was my biggest investment I'd ever made and I found that she was just rescheduling our appointments all the time. There was always some sort of drama going on in her life. Um, when we did our VIP day together, she talked about herself the entire time. I felt like she would bring up stuff in our sessions, be like oh, I really love this social media post and then post something very similar. Then, all of a sudden, her business model was moving more into spirituality, not just manifestation, and I just felt like there were too many things that were becoming very close between us. And then she said to me this was the final straw. Oh, you have a membership. I want to set up a membership. Let me have a look at yours.

Speaker 1:

And I sent her the login details and I didn't sleep at all that night. I was like what have you done. This is your baby and you need to protect your business like anybody else. Like. And this was the point where I started to reach out to other people and be like what do you think? Cause, this doesn't feel right with me. I'm searching for that validation, right, when I already knew. I already knew way back when not click the fucking pay button. But no, this is what happens when you don't live in alignment, right, you kind of make a decision, you know it's wrong and then you try to get other people to validate you so you feel okay to backtrack on your decision, right. So I was like, hmm, what's going on, like you know, anyway, I just I couldn't sleep that night and I just woke up the next day because I just couldn't take it anymore. The energy was repelling me Like I just couldn't sleep. I was feeling anxious all the freaking time and I just said I'm sorry, I don't want to work with you because I don't feel like it's aligned anymore.

Speaker 1:

She came back with three different responses about refunds and it took us a long time to negotiate like a refund that we were both happy with, and from then it was like oh well, this, that, anyway, it totally resulted in me getting citizens advice involved, getting a solicitor involved, and it took me four money, four money, four months to get my money back because there was excuse after excuse or this has happened, this has happened. This has happened and in you know, as we were going through this process whilst she was coaching me, uh, because we did have some coaching sessions and there was some good, there was some value in there. I don't think it was worth the value that I paid, but the value there was some good, there was some value in there. I don't think it was worth the value that I paid, but the value there was some value in it and I did learn some things. I'm not completely slating her, because I don't think she's a bad person. I just think there's some just bad management, um, but yeah, so the stuff that I did learn I was able to implement and that was great.

Speaker 1:

But it was just like excuse after excuse. There was always a reason why I wasn't going to get paid. I had to threaten like court action. I prepared all the court paperwork because I thought this is a large sum of money and as she was coaching me, I found out just like, for example, she'd be like I've been in your membership, but I knew that she hadn't because she hadn't signed up. And she did this for like two weeks of like, oh, I've had the login details, I've been in and I've had a look and I'd known that she hadn't because she hadn't signed up, um, and then it wasn't until like two weeks later. She was like oh, can I have the login details again? This is where the anxiety spiked right.

Speaker 1:

But I was just like, okay, and then, as we were going through this process, she was just lying, getting found out out, lying, getting found out, and it just became this mess for four months of me just being anxious, stressed, crying, like really affecting my mental health and just really really impacted me on so many different levels. You know, for her she saw somebody who was desperate and I'm sure she thought I can help this person achieve the freedom that she wanted the you know, the nine to five, getting rid of that, the you know, sleeping in till 9 30 am and not worrying about it, having the flexibility to be anywhere in the world, like that type of stuff, like I'm sure she thought that she could help me, um, but my intuition told me not to. Okay, I let her usher me into the sale instead of saying is this aligned for me? Had I had slept on it, had I had said I need to have a moment to think about it, I probably wouldn't have signed up.

Speaker 1:

Because there's been many opportunities since then where I've inquired about something, thought about it, slept on it and was like, actually, this doesn't feel right, this doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel in alignment. You know, that's what sales does to us. We get all hyped up in the moment and then we do just get like swept up in that moment. There's nothing wrong with that. That's how sales work. But for me, I really need to have that analytical time of being like okay, what's my intuition telling me? Does this feel good for me? Does this make my body and my chest feel really up and and expansive, or is my body contracting? Is my on my shoulders coming in? Am I? Am I tense anywhere? Like, understanding how your intuition speaks to you is so, so important.

Speaker 1:

I'll probably do an, I'll do an episode on intuition, solely because there's so much stuff to talk about in terms of your intuition. But you know, your intuition is subtle and your intuition is your best friend and your intuition will always keep you safe? Okay, that is what you need to know. And you know when, when I reflect back on this, when I'm like I probably wouldn't have signed up if I'd slept on it, I got caught up in what somebody else wanted from me. Okay, she wanted to have my money. You know she wanted me to have the money and to follow this plan that she had, but really that's what she wanted. That wasn't really what I wanted, because it wasn't in alignment to me and I knew it from the jump. But I carried on doing it anyway. And I know that when I'm speaking to you right now, you're probably thinking about something where you're like fuck, this sounds like me and this.

Speaker 1:

And this time, when I said yes, when really I needed to say no because it was making me feel really icky, like there's no technical term of understanding your intuition other than it's just feeling like really, really icky. And this is why I talk about alignment a lot at the moment and why being in alignment in your business is really important, because what I've learned in the last couple of months is that you already know the answer. You feel it and your body will always tell you the next step. Your body will make you feel safe or make you feel like, yeah, fuck, yeah, this is the right thing for me, and you know, this is something that you cannot ignore, because when you do ignore it, you end up just creating a freaking mess that you have to sort out.

Speaker 1:

Like the first half of this year felt like a complete write-off from the negativity that was in my life because I couldn't really focus on anything. And then what happened then with, like, the coaches that I signed up to now is that I took my time. I asked all of the questions. I got in contact with them, I I expressed my concerns, especially because this wound was so, so raw at the time as well, like of this person had ultimately betrayed my trust, and then it'd been an absolute fucking nightmare to get my money back ever since. So, so, yeah. So I took my time. I asked the questions I needed to ask. I needed to feel safe in my body to say fuck, fuck, yes. And there's been like some no-brainer things, and even when they've been like some no-brainer offers for me where I'm like I really feel so drawn with every fucking cell of my body to do this, I've said to myself no, sleep on it. So, yes, your intuition sometimes needs time to be able to speak to you.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and something that I'm doing at the, which I highly recommend, is having 10 minutes of silence every morning. So what I do is I get up, I have my coffee, I go and I sit on my sofa, I put my coffee down, I'm sat there like no noise, no stimulation, I close my eyes and I just let things come up and see what happens. Like this morning it was about judgment, for example. So today I talked about, or I thought about, judgment and how, like, how am I judging myself? How am I judging others? What are others triggering in me at the moment? And that just kind of came up organically. It wasn't an intention, but also, you can sit there with 10 minutes of silence with your intention, be like, tell me the next step. What is something I need to do today in order for me to take action in my business? What is something that I really need to address that's holding me stuck where I am right now? Like, and then just allow for that intuition to speak to you and don't get frustrated if it doesn't speak to you right away. Your intuition is your best friend and guess what If you don't text your best friend back, you don't call her, you don't see her. She's going to be a lot quieter than if you are having that regular relationship and communication with yourself.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and as you sink deeper into that connection with your body and into that inner knowing, your decisions become effortless. You stop looking outside for other people to make that decision for you. You're able to go. I'm going to gonna do this, but I don't need to ask 10, 20 people and then be left conflicted with whatever decision I'm trying to make. I know what I need to do and then it's. It's a different energy, right when you're like in that insecure place of, oh I don't know if this is the right thing or not, and then you go and you get 10 people's opinions of people who are not where you want to be, by the way, which you should never do.

Speaker 1:

If you are talking to people who are not living the life you want to live, don't fucking listen to their opinion, because they're not. They don't, they're not going to buy into your vision the way that you do. So. You need to speak to people who are living the life you're living or have the same mindset as you in terms of like growth, personal development, that type of stuff which has been really hard for me because my friends are not really there. So I'm having to like navigate at the moment, having like my different types of friendships, which are all beautiful and amazing and you can have different friendships. But I listened to a podcast today which told you, told us, told the audience, told me, told us, told everyone, about having your kitchen cabinet, having your kitchen kitchen cabinet of the four or five people in there who you can run business ideas past. But you need to come to it as in this feels right to me and this feels really aligned. How do I do this? What do you think okay and not allow other people's views to influence you. And to me that this has just been valuable, valuable information where I'm like, ah, this is all sinking in so fucking deep right now. It's sinking into just so many different levels of me, me being able to connect to myself and just to you know, when you take the pressure off and you stop resisting everything in your life, you actually end up with a lot more energy.

Speaker 1:

I always found that bad things would happen to me when I was resisting. I would go, oh no, and I would explain and come up with a bullshit excuse of why it was fine for this person to do that or for me to feel like this or for whatever. But really my intuition was there being like, girl, don't do it, don't do it. And I'm like I'm not gonna do it, girl. And then I'm like, oh, I did it. And my intuition it girl. And then I'm like, oh, I did it. And my intuition is like what the fuck, like, my guardian angel must have like his head in his hands. Like, oh my days, how did I get matched with this woman? Honestly, he must just be pulling his hair out. Sorry, guardian angel. Also, when we talk about angels, angels are assigned to you. They have to stick with you.

Speaker 1:

Spirit guides got a bit more free will, just as an fyi, but I think I talk about in a different episode. But yeah, you can learn more about that. But yeah, I'm just absolutely ranting on now. Um, I'm not gonna wrap it on too much more because I feel like I've talked enough about my failures. But is it failures or is it learning? You're probably going to be like it's learning, but if the shoe was on the other foot, you would feel like it was a failure. So be kind and compassionate to yourself. Every day is a fucking school day, especially when it's business, because your business will hold mirrors up to you that you never knew need healing and you're just like, okay, I'm just going to carry on. And the most successful business people are the people who do the inner work.

Speaker 1:

So, by being able to reflect on this situation and be like I didn't listen to my intuition and it has messed me up in so many different ways, and now that I've let go of that resistance of trying to over explain everything and just going with it, even when it doesn't make sense, right, because your intuition isn't always going to make sense. Um, so, by going along with my intuition, sometimes I'm like are you serious, christy? And I'm like well, yeah, because your intuition is showing you the next step. It's not showing you the end step. Okay, so you just have to trust yourself, and you know what I've put myself in situations.

Speaker 1:

I had a very rebellious teen years, like I've done stuff which has really jeopardized the trust within myself. But going through this building relationship with my intuition piece has given me so much more trust in myself that you know if I fuck up, that's in my life path and that's what I'm meant to do. If I'm making mistakes, that's okay. If I'm following my intuition blindly, then I cannot really go too far off where I'm supposed to be and you know what? Like I have sat there and I have gone. Are you mad? Are you mad, girl? Like you're making these really big, freaking decisions on a feeling, because your logical brain is going to be like what are you doing? But your subconscious mind, your body, higher power, whatever you want to call it is down here being like hey, I've got the juice for you, let me help you.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to end this episode here, because I will talk about it forever. I'm going to do a separate episode on intuition as a whole, because I want to be able to talk about what it feels like, what, what, what it is and what it isn't, because it can be very subtle. So I will be bringing that out soon. So keep your eyes peeled and, as usual, connect with me on LinkedIn, leave a review, tell me nice things. Words of affirmation is my love language, so drop in, say hello, summon, summon. Also, if this episode like resonates with you or sparked an emotion in you, like, talk to me about it? Get in my Instagram DM, send me an email. I always, always love to hear from you, so I'm going to leave this episode here right now, but sending you loads of freaking love and see you on Monday.